I literally laughed out loud when this came across my Twitter stream today. So wrong, yet so true for so many…
Weatherman said that we could see a few fat flakes coming down from Canada. I thought my in-laws had other plans for Xmas.
Tweeted by @onehipmama
I don’t what what man originally thought of blaming every bad day a woman has on PMS, but my guess is he only lived long enough to tell the other men, and then was killed by slow castration with a dull spoon. Take note gentlemen, it’s not a good idea.
Offering me Pamprin when I’ve had [...]
I’ve kissed a few dogs in my time(divorcing one of them now in fact) but I think there are just some things you should think twice before posting, although we both literally laughed out loud at this one…
Ugh, my dog just ate possum poop. I’m devastated. I used to really enjoy kissing him.
Tweeted by @yvetteferry
I do Overheard on Twitters fairly often, because the truth of it is the funniest quotes can be found in the most mundane moments of life. This is officially the funniest one to date, and I wish all of them made me truly laugh out loud as hard as this one!
I just googled “how to [...]
Someone really missed a great opportunity to videotape and hold onto serious blackmail material for his teenage years..Not that we condone such things
Can’t verify this (i.e., don’t want to verify this), but I believe Peanut is using my 10X magnification mirror to check out his butthole.
I’m with this guy- Peace Prize be damned, Obama better not stand between me and the one million McDonald’s is holding onto for me.
I got no problem with Obama’s Nobel Prize win, but if I wake up tomorrow and find out he also won McDonalds Monopoly I’m calling shenanigans.
Tweeted by @hexacord
Something tells me she ran into my ex online…
(919): Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! “Your” is for something that belongs to you, like ‘your herpes’. And “you’re” is a contraction for “you are”, like “you’re not sleeping with me”.
On a Friday I met a man who talked about giving and he is real. What about you?
No Liz, we are not real. We are figments of Terry Starbucker’s imagination.
Tweeted by @LizStrauss
http://twitter.com/lizstrauss/status/4571561907
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